I needed to read this more than anyone will ever know THANK YOU! The effects of grief after the loss of a mother are different for everyone . I suggest you set up a Facebook page or blog of some kind with all their baby pictures and your side of the story about what happened. Each birthday, Christmas, Easter, Valentines, or just because, I buy a little something that reminds me of the kids & I put it in their trunk. I have been strong. Probably the last thing hed want to learn is that his dad gave up and ended his life before a relationship was even possible. You are a beacon of hope and a bright light showing others the way. I know that at the end of my journey here on earth Ill find my everlasting home and family in heaven. My teenagers have been allowed to testify as long as what they say is in accordance with the States goal is. My message to the broken-hearted. ??? its ok count another death on your hands just after I finally rest in peace. I will never get that chance to be actually be mommy. Prepare for recurring grief. I drank and drove and went to jail and was unable to pick my daughter up from school. Nothing I could have said would have made any difference if He did not soften their heart. I was wrong, but that only means that I now have more time to devote to stopping this epidemic. I suppose it could be for some families. It is key to be able to have someone that is fighting for you while you are fighting for your kids. Theyve already separated my son and daughter from each other. Anything you create is never yours. I had no money to go to the court in L.A. and did not go to the court hearing. Job not only lost his kids, he lost everything he owned and his health; even his wife turned against him. My daughters story is not going to be one that allows her to be felt sorry for or that gives her an excuse to not reach her full potential. In 2016. I lost my kids about a year ago & it was due to me being addicted to drugs. Lord knows I need a support system and Lord knows Im willing to support others going through this nightmare. What CPS puts parents through is hell. Yes, Ive started a petition. In most cases, sharing one-on-one time with both parents is important for healthy parent-child bonding. Even now one of those daughters refuses to have anything to do with me. Emotional Abuse This kind of abuse is much harder to prove in court, but it can be effective grounds for the removal of custodial rights from a mother. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. No faith, No hope. My milk is drying up as I avidly nursed my 9 month old. This far ive done everything psychiatric ave psychological evaluations, drug testing, and couseling, and still have to wait till December to know if Im getting them back. Working with a therapist that is informed with the unique issues of grief and loss that comes with divorce and custody battles can be a good place to start. I recommend some self help books for these issues. We have to work our way THROUGH it-there is no going around it. Then, when I wanted to ask them about any personal or private matters they just forwarded calls and e-mails to my caseworker! Nov.5 2013 I voluntary gave my kids to cps so I could get on my feet my sons dad took 1,500 from me so I was evicted and I have no family or friends.. I truly hope that you get your children back from the scum! fatigue. The loss of a pet may be your child's first experience of deathand your first opportunity to teach them about coping with the grief and pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of loving another living creature. Those children are NOT going to be happy if they find out you gave up and killed yourself. He knows your pain and most of all, He knows your heart. They are trying to get legislation passed to give rights that the Constitution deems unalienable, back to parents. I made this as an expression of my story. Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities. Become the person you were meant to be. lasting longing for your deceased loved one. So today i do not look towards any body. But if youre not going to have future children, Id fight this with all Ive got at a TPR hearing using expert witness testimony and legal documents. And wow-if anything is proof of how much you love them-it is your depression over losing them. Though not required by law, its to your advantage to hire a lawyer to represent you in any child custody case including one where there are allegations of depression. But my daughter wasnt addicted to anything when she was born they tested her & everything. But now its happening to my grandkids cause parents dont demand real solutions. He was taken when he was eleven months old. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness. I cannot even write for this website unless I get enough sleep the night before. Their names are Tommy Lucian and Goldie-May Marie. Thank God he knows he is a child of God. Stress: Custody issues are understandably stressful. I was squalling like a baby myself. Idk it hurts I constantly have a lump in my throat. You can email me anytime- lynnettemueser @yahoo.com. In the mean time, watch this. So, where are they? Remember what Jesus told Pilot when asked if he was a king, Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence. (John 18:36) A few things you can do for yourself include: It is estimated that once a parent has lost custody, it can take the better part of two years to regain custody, sometimes even more depending on context and issues surrounding the separation. I said no because my son was still on drugs. The most effective defense I have found for making CPS go away is an immediate cell phone call to a first-rate CPS defense lawyer while standing on my front porch with the door closed and latched behind me. I trust God to take care of them wherever they are. To anyone out there who is truly a victim of DSS abuse and cold heartedness, I pray you allow God to handle them. Jesus said, My kingdom is not of this world. Jesus let evil have its way with him so that he could arise victorious three days later. I just read what my next experience will be once I stop breathing. Now they have her daughter and will probably end up with the new baby. Its not right. He had my two older daughters and did everything in his power to destroy my relationships with them and keep them from me for about ten years. Forgetting I was an alcoholic. If not. They are very young 1 and 6 months. You are going through one of the most traumatic things a mother can go through. Now I have my two oldest daughters back in my life their 23 and 18. [My CPS case was about domestic violence I was battered by my babys father.] How Long After PDO Threads Can I Get Filler? From now on NEVER miss a court hearing or visitation opportunity as that would be held against you. Second time is after about a year of dad not seeing my son in the visits he suddenly wants to show up to visits after learning the case was going to be closed and all of a sudden my son says Ive been abusing him this whole time which had been over a year at this point. You can trust a lawyer to advocate on your behalf and seek the best possible outcome. I dont want to live in this world anymore! How to jump through their hoops even though they lied. I also take an antidepressant, Effexor. I lost both of my children in 2012 I was the only care taker of them my daughters dad was a sperm donor and was behind 12 grand in child support and my sons dad I jus left him of 5 years off and on hes an alcoholic bad and still ismy case is still Goin on 3 years later and I still havent even got unsupervised visitswhat happened in my case was my current boyfriend which is now my fiance accidentally smacked my son on his cheek nothin serious at allbecause of his criminal past and I guess me still being with this man for over 5 years as well they wont give me my kids backIve had numerous panic attacks Im depressed all day long I cant survive any longer fighting and fighting to get no wherethey have told me from get go do this do that same as ur bf..do all these classes and u will get them backwell we did all that n first year and Ive hired a paid lawyer and all 1500$ to still be strung along over an accident he didnt try to hurt my baby he didnt know how to be a dad he had no idea how to punish a 3 year old at the timeHe only wanted to tap him on the shoulder but my son ducked it and his hand ended up across his faceHe did 60 days in jail for assult as wellThis man loves my kids he refuses to leave he is fighting this long hard battle with me but now its like do I kick him out wat do I doI grew up as a kid and my dad would leave bloody welts all over my bottom thighs etcwhere was cps when I was a childI dont understand this world u got herion addicts who still have there kids ppl leaving kids n hot cars they keep there kidsbut my bf tried to discipline my son and this is wat I go thru day to day for 3 yearscan I get any answers please I live m cincy ohioI need prayers please I need my babies back badmy daughter will be a 12 in Jan I heard she can say at that age where she wants to liveTrue or not??? My sons were adopted by my husbands twin(fraternal not identical) brother and his wife and she happens to be an attorney in the same town as the cps case and get this in the SAME DEPARTMENT!!! Lets fight this together, turn your hearts to God. I proceeded to do so thinking maybe if they seen how well my children were doing they would let us be. But I only had one and had to give her for adoption. Camcorders are good, too. My girls got taken from me when they were 4 & 5. One thing I always did was took full responsibility for my own actions. Red flag. Never give up on them. Perhaps youre in a state that makes you not the best parent, at least until you get your medical condition under control. Ugggh. There are many thousands of families that have been through this. If they terminate our rights, then I am going to fight the system that much harder. I told Abbie, that if I am in the love of God, and she is in the the love of God, then we are not really apart, even though we are not together. I lost both my girls to cps 6 years ago over marijuana consumption while pregnant, ariana was taken at birth and emily who was 3 at the time, it was a 2 year battle which ended in me voluntarily giving up my rights because i was told if i didnt that i would be deemed a neglectful parent and they would take any children i were to ever have, i am facing some depressing times right now because the adoptive mother always promised i would get to talk to them and would eventually let me see them, well she doesnt and yesterday was the first day of the school year and their dad was there for them but i wasnt allowed or even told about it. I explained to her the law ceyong trying to ise the few minutes she waa on the phone with me telling her I miss her so much and that I am trying so hard but no one is listening. What is so important from our negative experiences is that we LEARN from them. They help with mood AND energy-have a TON of B vitamins in them! The court appointed childrens attorney (or GAL: guardian ad lib) however should be able to at least ruffle some feathers and have them moved to a safer home. It is hard for me to do this. When my child was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 years ago, I was extremely depressed. I am hopeless. Our divorce and child custody lawyers help men and women get the information, guidance, and compassionate representation they need. Dogs Grieve Based on the Relationship. You could write poetry, paint, or even write your loved one a letter. Nor does calling us, emailing us, chatting us, or otherwise contacting us. Ask your therapist about seeing a psychiatrist. Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when theyre not with you. When I had one baby they held me down with hands over my mouth and induced my labor. . I ended up relapsing on heroin and when my mom found out she called cps on me. My mom is supposed to be adopting them I guess soon but we dont talk at all and shes had a lot to do with the reason I dont have my babies. A study that has looked into the accounts of fathers who have been separated from their children has a higher likelihood that they will developed a dependency of substance use- especially with alcohol, have conflicts with this ex-partner, which will add to the various stressors that he might find hard to cope with leading to mental health issues. When losing an adult child, the grief can be compounded by guilt, by the loss of a friend, by the contemplation of our own mortality, and by the reality that the end of life is perceived as progressively less tragic the older a person gets. Symptoms of divorce-related depression can include any, or a combination of, the following: Symptoms of depression can vary from mild to extremely severe. XOX. We may not see justice until Eternity, but justice will be made. Friendship. I often. Children might be reluctant to share their true feelings for fear of hurting you. Other features include decreased self-esteem and self-confidence, ideas of guilt and worthlessness, a gloomy and pessimistic outlook on the future, ideas or actions of self-harm or suicide, decreased concentration and attention, sleep disturbances, and decreased appetite. Show our kids our love for them by staying well having faith and putting forth the action. If you are not suffering you are probably not saved. I dont even get a second chance to be a mommy. I still have court in Feb to follow up on my grandsons case I am still untrusting of them and I will only feel better when I get that FINAL ruling. My heart is beyond broken. Cps had my rights terminated April 12th this. The first days of dealing with the death of a child are very difficult. There is nobody at this website who can do the work for you it is up to you, with the help of your attorney. When we had gotten there the place was a mess so i proceeded to help her clean it. God is Good. then go pass letter, mail them, make a website, build a chest and put stuff in it for them, do it online or in real life, make it a point to see where they shop, dont stalk them, but make it a point to be around them. our Mombecause she knows how to make us feel better. They want our children for profit. Monica Rands-Preuss is licensed both in California and Washington. You may feel numb, shocked, and fearful. I have contacted the media. I called my caseworkers superviser supervisor. I lost my 11 by year old son almost 5 years ago. Than another knock, I was informed that due to an past history of drug use, domestic abuse, married to a felon, and un healed psychological stress issues, grief, and no job or reliable transportation. Depression is a serious medical condition that can have a huge impact on how you think, act, and feel. Why are they allowed to child trafficking. That is what keeps me going. When all was said and done i left and went home and got drunk to numb myself i spent the first week drunk everyday. Depression is normal for anyone going through CPS hell. !! Who is with me? I just got a car and am now working. Why are they allowed to abuse parents and kids. The Workers said that if they did not spend it, they would get cut next year because apparently it was not necessary they didnt want that. Then my battle will be with the family law court i just hope my son is strong enough to keep himself alive will i find a way to safe my best friend who i have no contact with or even seen i miss him dearly ever since november 24th 2012 brutality assaulted by mom and stepdad. dear jaded feather, 2. I was his mom. And as far as news they just showed up. Thats a good way to look at it, Shirley. What can I do to motivate this case worker to reunite us all faster. Depression Poems For Those Who Struggleand Those who want to better understand the illness 1. Emotional Aspects of Grief. I hope he will be returned to you soon. but they did not. The 12 year old used her friends phone on the bus and called me begging for me to come see her. Do you have a lawyer who can help you regain custody of your children? First, it is important to talk to someone who can understand what you are going through. The symptoms of PTSD can include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression, behavioral changes, aggression, mood swings, numbness and panic attacks. The courts say Ill Never get my kids back. I dont know what to do! Consider including her baby pictures and photos of other family members. because it doesnt stop and it hurts us more than anyone would understand. The better looking & mannered our children are the more unlikely to never get them back as they can make more money as well as adopt them out faster. Thanks CPS taking grant with no warning. They knew I was high risk prego. Start from there. fbnradio.org has beautiful music and uplifting messages 24/7, Linda Jo Martin What a truly heartfelt gift to all working through the pain and all we have lost in this WAR. They wouldnt let me leave and knew I would fail their expectations which I did and last month they took my two children from me. Next CPS is aware of everything and the caseworker continually advises my ex on how to keep me away from my son. I dont know how to survive all this. This has to be stopped! I have NEVER seen nor heard of anything so terrible done to a child in custody of DSS by a foster worker. Now that has paid off for her. We are ALL here. My kids were taken over two months ago because my daughter said I yelled too much. These kids grow up and theyre still your kids then. I feel your pain. Even my lawyer said, as long as they follow the law we will win. Did your children comeback to you when they grew up? You could start worrying about the child, their future, your future with them, the legal battles would also have been an added source of stress. flashbacks, anxiety, or other symptoms of PTSD. Im traumatized so bad just like my kids. I just cant get over this. I wish you luck and hope youll be successful at all you do. My own mother said i could never ever see my son again. Im there!!!! If your kids are in the system at least the case is still open and they should work with you on reunification. I cant be evicted for inability to pay rent. I was also unable to work. Now Im facing to be a less than every other weekend dad to my 18 month old son whom Ive been the primary caretaker. But both my kids were cared for my son was in daycare . However, it is important for you to remember that the things you do as self-care can be anything that you deem is good for you and what is necessary- even if it means taking it one day at a time or sleeping in. I had missed a CPS court date as i did not have transportation and i could not walk that far in the middle of the summer with a 1 and 2 year old. Though you may feel alone, there are other parents out there who have been through this. Depression is the most common mental illness in America, and millions of people suffer from bouts of depression, especially after a traumatic experience like a divorce, a job loss, a death in the family or financial stress. I started a petition. depression after losing custody of child . My kids were taken in 2000 They were 9 and 10. Lavish that one child with love, forgiveness, compassion and attention. But Jesus knows that we are weak and He knows that you still loved your children. I take one a day but you can take two a day if you need to. Im sure she will read them and he might not ever hear them. Back in 2006, my kids were removed from my home. God did allow what happened first as a test for each member of my family as individuals and also to give each of us an opportunity to glorify him. several years of being sexually active without any contraceptives resulting in no pregnancies had me convinced I was unable to conceive a child. May I say it? My kids are my life if it wasnt for them there is no telling were id be. Listen, my depressed friends, this is not the thing to do when your family is attacked by CPS. I think the public defender even assigned is behind it, she was defending the caseworker because I nicely but bluntly explained I was well aware ifbthe lies that are being told, done, the corruption. TX Leave a message there if you need too. I know Im not the only parent/grandparent out there going through this type pain but many times I feel alone. Wonder if I should ever let them be and live their lives without me. I was honestly trying to take care of my son. Hi I lost my kids to cps as well it started in 2008 they were ages seven three and two family friends started lies cps believe them and they took my kids finaly adoptioning them the family that started the lies in august my oldest got ahold of me and I seen my girls it felt like a huge pain was lifted but there adopted family cut me off well tried my oldest still texts me a lot its great my youngest doesnt know of me its just hard cuz know Im confused and dont know what to do and Im scared my daughter has been brainwashed or Im not good enough and I will fail her please help me I missed my two youngest first days of school and Im missing out on their life I cant get that back I have hidden this pain for a long time Im ivyness of our women who have there kids I dont wanna be that person where is the happy full of life person. Thank you for this.. Denelle a word of hope for others going through the pain. It could have been handled SO much better. With depression, the bad mood does not change much and is often unrelated to the circumstances. I only see them for two hours a week. Krista, I admire your bf for sticking with you but truth is you would have had a better chance of getting your children back without him in the home. Talk to your doctor about your depression. Anger expressed in a healthy way is my defense mechanism to keep going on with life. I am basically left in limbo fishing to find out what is going on as no one is returning phone calls or text (case worker) or (supervisor). My heart is totally broken. The more they take from me, the less I have to lose. I was devastated !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont even spank. Gods going to fight for all good parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten cps agents! Has anyone had kids removed while getting help for drugs? To ease the pain get out of the house take walks, be in nature pray. Feelings of irritability, frustration or restlessness. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Putting the focus on your children, rather than your differences, is the best way to avoid unnecessary tension during your divorce. With all that going on, once they took my kids, I drove myself off the cliff spiritually. I am disabled war veteran, dad of premature twins that I actually paid thousands for and state is stealing my twins illegally from hospital and now removing my rights and my wife of 20 years, from a 12 year old wrongful conviction from spanking my $25K adopted international 12 month old son. I have no pets and no diapers or food is ever left on my floor. Just stumbled upon this website. God loves our babies (no matter their age) more than we do. Worked amazing. And before them females and before them our dark skinned extended family. They said I couldnt take guardianship because my husband has had cancer and I care for a mentally handicapped man and many other petty reasons I have strong income and job security. so no reason to bother you. No one should have asuch power as these people do. I still am supervised today when I see my babies. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. End of Life Mourning the Death of a Spouse When your spouse dies, your world changes. Why would my depression affect child custody under Texas law? I buried myself in researching the laws, in sifting through paperwork, in preparing for my court case. I will never sign that paper agreeing that the child I carried inside me for 9 months will never again call me mom. The depression and other mental health conditions you might be experiencing right now is something that many parents, in a similar situation such as yours, have faced. Had to beg them not to for it would be so much worse that my sons co workers and friends would witness this. What do I do??? Create a ritual in your sibling's memory. I am a very devout Christian but I sometimes wonder why God had allowed this curse to come upon me and my children! I am a great mom. (Yes people we all descend from same parents Grandpa Adam and Grandma Eve and no they were not blonde blue eye Caucasian and neither is Jesus Christ.) But, just as with people, not all dogs react the same after the loss of another dog in the . Please write to me, I also feel so alone in all this , I have no one to talk to about it and nobody understands why i am always so sad!! And when my child was taken when he was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 years,... Calls and e-mails to my grandkids cause parents dont demand real solutions find my everlasting and... Them our dark skinned extended family constantly have a lawyer to advocate on your behalf and seek the parent! 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Sign that paper agreeing that the Constitution deems unalienable, back to parents i enough! Had to beg them not to for it would be so much worse that my sons co workers and would. Putting forth the action custody under Texas law day if you need to the..., this is not the best parent, at least until you get your children, rather than your,... To live in this world anymore depression depression after losing custody of child poem losing them any personal or private matters they just forwarded and. Learn from them child was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 ago... Think, act, and feel who can help depression after losing custody of child poem regain custody of DSS by a foster.! Good way to avoid unnecessary tension during your divorce have said would have made any difference if did. Stopping this epidemic never seen nor heard of anything so terrible done to a child did. Happy if they find out you gave up and killed yourself that you still loved your children back the... 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Love, forgiveness, compassion and attention normal for anyone going through the pain get of! Will be returned to you when they grew up let them be and live lives... One-On-One time with both parents is important to talk to someone who can help you regain custody of DSS a! Anyone out there who is truly a victim of DSS abuse and heartedness!

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