\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Press J to jump to the feed. You talk about sex drives - but it's hard to see if hers is lower than yours when she severely limits what you'll both do - do either of you 'come' when you guys play? When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Why are you doing all the work and no effort is being reciprocated by your girl? Some people in relationships might require patience from their partners, others might prioritize the ability to compromise, and others might prioritize communication over anything else. Webi would talk to your girlfriend and see if she can tell you WHY she doesnt want a physical relationship. But I dont think the definition of needs is the real issue here. Youre kind of being take advantage of and it isnt fair. I would consider that a fair compromise. Genius life & organization hacks. There was a vacation my boss invited me and my team members on, however my girlfriend forbade it, and begged me to not go. Its all too easy to fall into a pattern of one-sidedness. Brainstorm and discuss solutions to the problem. The truth is that sex is better with practice and experience. If you feel unwanted, if she doesnt initiate contact, it might be because she doesnt know what you like. I simply hope that, as my commenters wrote, couples experiencing this problem talk about it and try to work through it before one decides to damage the relationship further. Kristin Says: Agree agree agree. Now, she should nver have to do anything she doesn't want to do, but this will continue to be a huge problem. More importantly, only you know what you need in a healthy relationship. In an earlier post, I wrote that cheating in a relationship means whatever each partner thinks it means. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. They might be scared or dont know what to do to make their intentions clear to their significant other. When in doubt, ask How do you like to be kissed?, Ask open-ended questions that dont rely on blaming one partner. This is probably the most important tip in this article, which Dr. Nicole Prause is a sex psychophysiologist and neuroscientist. Often, they are taught that if they dont look a certain way they will not be liked physically. Make sure you have alone time and she feels safe before expecting her to initiate anything. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I have the money to easily afford it, plus it comes with my new position. Shes anxious because shes out-of-practice. We are in a relation for almost At the beginning of your post, I got the understanding that your girlfriend may just not be one of the touchy feely people. You should still be going out on a date. Her having you sit around her apartment at night was just the beginning. Communicate with her, make your needs clear while understanding her needs. So, find new ways to elevate the physical side. Make sure theres a clear way for her to not be scared of rejection. Ask yourself how long you think you can stay in your marriage if things don't improve. To love each other is to trust each other and want the best out of your SO. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. For instance, you can ask, Whats missing from our relationship? or What can we do to make our relationship better?, Give her a compliment to reassure her. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Decide if you are able to adjust to the irritating and hurtful situations in your marriage or not. Sometimes that makes women in their 30s nuts, especially if the behavior is continuously condoned. Karney BR. Yes, YOU! I know people who are not comfortable with touch. They just don't like it. It is called sensory defensiveness unless there are any other underlying Women get so much unwanted attention at the gym, I don't think they are there shopping for guys. Currently I drive a piece of junk, and I wanted to get a sports luxury car. To understand why some girls dont initiate physical contact and what to do about it, read on! While you shouldnt wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Your email address will not be published. Healthy habits. But next time you find yourself thinking, My boyfriend or my girlfriend doesnt do anything for me, or, My boyfriend or my girlfriend doesnt make time for me, it may just be time to find someone who will. Only you know what you can tolerate and still be emotionally healthy yourself. Time to move on. Some people are just genuinely not like that. Personal development. Society has always taught girls that its shameful to ask to feel good in an intimate way, thus she could feel ashamed to show you she wants you. In fact, that you welcome it. You forget to ask how she handles her bills and how well her career is going. Sure, helping your partner become the best version of themselves is rewarding and lovely to see, but allow yourself to think about yourself for a moment. Tl;Dr- girlfriend is upset that I want to improve myself physically because she thinks I am doing this just to get women. It's a really bad idea to get married just to have sex. A woman's feeling Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! As her boyfriend, you need to help her break away from these roles. Without a discussion, whenever she wants to initiate something the fear of rejection will stop her. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. For me that would be the biggest red flag of them all. I am a very affectionate person. I like to cuddle and hug a lot. And I like sex a lot too. I Financial, religious, or family issues may make it extremely difficult to end the relationship, and the partner who refuses sex also refuses to allow his or her partner to go outside the relationship to get it. I have no friends to have get togethers with. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. WebIf you searched for 'my girlfriend doesn't want to do anything physical' and want to improve your dating life with women then click this link and grab yourself a FREE eBook 'How to She thinks kissing comes with expectations for sex. Also, we dont have the same sex drive I feel like. She can try but chances are she will feel uncomfortable every step of the way. In her eyes, the level of intimacy justifies getting married, but not even dry humping. If you understand her needs you can be more equipped to make her feel good. And hitting on me at the gym is a surefire way to get shot down. Pick a location for the conversation that is free of distractions. A good match is someone whose strengths fill in your weaknesses, and who helps you learn to improve, says Dr. If shes not so into physical contact, she might not understand not initiating it could hurt you. Wish says that if your partner is open to talking about it but they blame you for almost all of it, thats not necessarily a healthy way to argue, either. It's important to accept that you can't change your spouse.